oh bah humbug on today

Ahhh, thank you all, much better!

:( I'm almost sober

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

:( I'm sobering up

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

•You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

“As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.” ~ Woody Allen

If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.

So Phil says 6 more weeks of winter? Excellent - we need it here on the west coast :)

It's Ground Hog day! What did the lil critter see this morning?

Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it.

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.